Louder
by AutumnsFey
Summary: Discarded. Useless. She was used to it. She could accepttheir decision and move on. But it didn't end there. It never ended before blood was shed, innocent blood. She scaped her grief, started over, alone, and finally learned to live. Now, she is faced with her past ... but she isn't alone. Fem!Tsuna.


_**Fool me once, shame on you.**_

 _Fool me twice, shame on me._

 _But try to fool me thrice, and there will be no one left to be shamed._

 _Courtesy of your tragic gruesome dismemberment._

 _..._

 _I had a … good teacher._

 _Very hands-on._

 _Very creative._

 _Well … don't be shy now._

 _Try me._

 _Please._

 _ **Nothing is permanent, not in this life of ours.**_

 _Maybe it was foolish of me to believe differently, but after years of being a nobody, it had felt embarrassingly good to be a somebody. To matter._

 _Was it complacent?_

 _Self-indulgent?_

 _Maybe it was, I don't know. There is no real line of personal reference I could consult, and those I could ask who had an at least somewhat similar experience to mine are so far out of reach it isn't worth the effort. Because, while I deeply believe that hope is never truly futile, the continuous contemplation of 'maybes' and possibilities that never will be doesn't return those I once cherished just that little bit too much back to my side, doesn't sooth the burning pain of betrayal, of abandonment and displacement that tears up on the inside. Sometimes, I wished it had gone differently._

 _It is a mere whisper, the breath of a breath ghosting in bleakest darkness, in the abyss of my soul, and one idea of a thought I had long since caged in the deepest parts of my mind._

 _Because I will never be what that men desire me to be._

 _Someone who … carelessly walks over the corpses of their own family. Their own blood._

 _I truly don't mean to wish him harm, no. I'm happy for the Ninth's youngest son to be alive, to come back home and regain his own life and all that entails._

 _I just wished my guardians hadn't jumped on the chance to leave me behind so readily._

 _I wished that his return wouldn't have meant the ruin of my future, a future I had just begun to accept and look forward to._

 _But if there was one thing my tutor taught me, than it was perseverance, and I will not bow down to this creeping depression threatening me. No. I will stand tall._

 _I will stand tall and unyielding, alone in a room that once held friends who had drifted into strangers._

 _And I will not begrudge them their decisions._

 _I … am better than that._

 _Today, I know that. Deep in my bones, even without their acknowledgement, I know it._

 _To someone, somewhere, somehow, I'm somebody._

 _I matter._

 _And I know it._

 _ **Life is a never-ending lesson.**_ _Sometimes you get good grades, sometimes you get bad grades. Sometimes tests are expected and you can prepare yourself, sometimes they are sprung on you and all you can do is react. And sometimes, reacting is not enough. It isn't nearly enough._

 _Blind._

 _Bound._

 _Breathless._

 _I remember. I remember so well, how it felt, to feel their hands on my throat, squeezing, cutting. Sounds getting dimmer and the cold panic at the darkness, always the darkness, blindfolded and uncertain if the black of my lacking vision was merely attributed to the cloth blinding me … or if my view is already darkening, my lungs unable to work, cut off by this big rough hands restricting my breath, crushing my throat. They taste so salty on my lips, the tears I can't stop._

 _Mingling with blood._

 _Always blood._

 _And ..._

 _I wished I could stop hearing._

 _Why do I have to listen?_

 _Blood drips down my wrists, rope cutting into them, binding me. My screams break into blood-soaked sobs, voice gone after hours of useless begging, of desperate pleading and helplessly feeling their disgusting touch, feeling how they take what they want, how they taunt and torment. And still, I hear screams._

 _My mother's screams._

 _My uncle's screams._

 _Make it stop!_

… _I can't scream anymore._

 _Drowning in blood._

 _ **Red soaks my ripped dress as I kneel besides her, seeping into the dirty cloth.**_

 _My blood drips on her face, like tear drops painted on porcelain. But her brown eyes stay dull, the warm colour faded from that sparkling life-loving light into such an indifferent haunting shell which only death can create. Trembling, I let my shaking fingers trail over her silent face, taking in the delicate features of the one woman I love more than anything in the world, the only one to always and unquestioningly stay with me, love me, hold me, accept me._

 _Unconditionally._

 _It does not become her. Death._

 _Where was her smile?_

 _The twinkle in her eyes?_

 _A sob tears at my throat as tears begin to blur her face. Why? Why, kami, why?_

 _Then there are hands._

 _Their hands._

 _Their god-damned hands._

 _I flinch away, my dead gaze clouded with tears as I stare at them, at their worried faces. The corpses of our kidnappers strewn around, cut, burnt, shot. I don't care. Bile claws up my throat as I stare at them, at the former friends who once swore to protect me. At the spineless guardians who defected only too easily and who came back to save us from their mistakes way too late._

 _For my mother._

 _For my uncle._

 _For me._

 _And as I look at them, I don't see my friends. I see strangers._

 _Perfect strangers._

 _I see someone who simply doesn't care._

 _But it doesn't matter. It should have, it really should, but it doesn't. Looking at my hands, at the blood of my mother, my own blood, mingling, all I know is that it doesn't matter. Once it did. Now, it doesn't._

 _And I think I should be concerned that there is nothing inside me breaking. No trust, no memories, no feelings of betrayal or abandonment, of loneliness or resentment blooming into hatred._

 _But … I can't. I just can't._

 _There is just … nothing._

 _And I'm honestly to numb to care._

 _ **Bitterness can fester, like a wound never treated.**_ _It festers, and it hurts. It taints the good, the healthy in ugly sick shades and makes us unreasonable. After being abandoned, half-orphaned and then send halfway around the world for my own protection only to be once more discarded without a second thought, I don't._

 _Feel bitter, that is._

 _They aren't worth such effort on my part._

 _I won't poison my soul on their account._

 _This is my life, and I will live it like it matters. I will try to leave no regrets, to live in a way that makes me smile at the mirror in the morning and let me sleep at night. It is a good goal._

 _My mother would have wanted it this way._

 _All she wanted was my happiness._

 _And I will be damned if I let those self-righteous arrogant little pricks command me differently. No._

 _Think again._

 _From this day, I will not survive. I will not hold on._

 _I will live._

 _I will thrive._

 _I will succeed._

 _And I will do it louder, brighter, stronger. Then. Ever. Before._

 _In this world that has joy so easily available if you only know where to look, I will colour my own existence in a myriad of colours, of shades and light and dark. In this world, I want to be … well, I don't exactly know who I want to be – but I know that I want to discover exactly that._

 _For now, that is enough._

 _More than enough._

 **Large unfocused hazel-coloured eyes blinked as a big thick wool blanket dropped over her skinny shoulders, and she craned her head up to look at the only one that could have done that.** A soft smile danced across her lips as she took in the worried look in his sharp stormy grey eyes. Reaching up with one pale hand to caress his smooth cheek, she closed her eyes gently, a warm feeling spreading soothingly through her chest as he laid a gentle kiss on her wrist, a shudder running pleasantly down her spine as his lips touched her pulse point.

It was a gesture that meant more to them than anyone else knew.

A silent promise.

An oath to keep with their last breath.

The vow of a changed lifetime, of a future filled with love, trust and family.

Her greatest wishes.

Eyes fluttering open again, she shrieked in surprise as he suddenly lifted her up, only to take her place and plop her down on his lab. Sighing exasperated, she tipped him on the nose, amusement colouring her silent scolding at his unrepentant grin and cross-eyed look.

She yelped startled as his tongue flicked up, tickling her hand before she could retract it.

" Silly man", she whispered sternly, a fleeting smile grazing her lips.

" What does this silly man have to do to get a kiss from his fair maiden?"

Tsuna raised her eyebrows, fighting to keep them up as he did the most ridiculously version of puppy dog eyes she had ever seen – and, once upon a time, Sawada Tsunami had been friends with Gokudera Hayato, the oh-so-seemingly loyal puppy dog of epically pathetic self-chastisement himself. Shaking her head, she leaned upwards and planted a soft kiss on his cheek, closing her eyes in bliss as he turned his head, capturing her lips with his. Heat flooded her body as his strong grip moved to her neck, anchoring her.

This was what passion, what belonging and loving felt like.

Kissing him – felt like breathing.

Easy.

Natural.

Necessary to stay alive.

Tsuna kept her eyes closed as they separated, shivering as his warm breath ghosted across her neck. She didn't move, didn't say anything as he carefully picked her up only to seat himself, settling her down on his lap. Her head rested on his chest, the beat of his heart a calming steady presence.

Sometimes, she felt like she was living a fairy-tale.

And only the beat of his heart kept her from waking up.

Only a few years ago, Tsuna …

… well … honestly? ...

… she would have scoffed at the mere notion that she could ever feel so safe, so secure and wanted … loved, in her life. The miserable existence she had lived for so long had been surprisingly elevated to something worthwhile only to be plunged into an absolute desolation she had never known before. Had never even been able to imagine. And in the ruins of her little world, as the barest hints of taunting light seemed to merely exist so that the shadows could torture her relentlessly, cruelly, the most unexpected had happened.

He had appeared, and given her not simply a reason to continue.

He had challenged her to more.

He had challenged a broken girl to find the resolution to live to her fullest potential.

And in those unreadable stormy grey eyes of a man she had known for such a short time, she had found her determination, the spark that made her want again instead of merely enduring existence.

It was like waking up from a nightmare. And she soaked up the first rays of sunshine like a dying woman.

It had been time to let go of the past.

After meeting him, her life had finally begun to recover. And really, after the roller-coaster ride from hell she had been forced to endure, she was happier than anything for this little piece of her very own heaven on her earth.

He had been the one to help her come alive again.

Tsuna remembered more than just fondly how they had met for the first time. Officially, at least.

 _ **It was a rainy autumn evening, and she had been leaving the library after another late night of studying for a test.**_ _The sky had been grey and dark, rain drops shattering on and soaking through her cardigan the second she had stepped out of the building. Pressing her bag protectively against her chest she had hurried out, cursing her bad luck._

 _It was darkening ever more, and Tsuna started to worry that the rain would intensify even more before she reached her dormitory. Hastening her steps, she blinked the rain drops out of her eyes -_

 _\- and found herself on the ground, blinking at a sharp pain shooting up her ankle. Looking down, she noticed that she must have slipped and landed very awkwardly on the ground, her left hand burning and scratched bloody from scrapping along the pavement, her left foot hurting like hell._

 _Damn it all! Today was really not her day._

 _Cursing her rather graceless gait and accident-proneness, she tried to stand up, only to fall back down as black stars exploded across her vision, a scream held back literally by the teeth burrowed in her lips. Panting, she trembled where she sat._

 _Standing wasn't happening. The most she could try was to somehow escape the downpour, even if she sacrificed her bag; it was already lying soaked on the ground. She clenched her eyes as she stretched to grasp it, only to blink as the rain ceased to pour down._

 _Looking up slowly, her eyes meet with stormy grey ones, attentive and accessing … and something else she could sure as fuck not read at the moment, and really had no patience to try. The stranger's lips formed a strange smile, black curls dancing across his high forehead as he knelt beside her, seemingly not caring for the dirty water soaking his pants._

 _She was more than thankful for the umbrella._

" _Can you stand?"_

 _Tsuna shook her head at the inquiry, blushing lightly at the warm baritone._

 _He was certainly attractive – okay, she really had other concerns at the moment, but damn, that man was just fucking sexy._

" _Well, I hadn't intended to introduce myself like that, but you really are quite … difficult to catch", he chuckled at her questioning look. " Laurent Lopetti, at your service m'lady. My brother Jaques is in your Digital Art Class, and he was quite talk-active about the young Japanese exchange student that I, to quote him, just had to get to know. May I just say, you are even more enchanting in person than he had led me to believe?"_

 _She blushed heavily. What a charming ..._

" _And even clumsier than he described."_

… _asshole. Wow._

" _Thanks so much", she smiled sickeningly sweet through the pain. " It's so nice to know that my reputation precedes me. Just to satisfy my own manners, I'm Sawada Tsunami, or Tsunami Sawada as you would say it."_

" _I know", he smirked, pressing the umbrella in her hand. " Let's get you to the dorms."_

 _She yelped as he took a hold of her and stood up, ready to carry her bridal-style while she held the umbrella._

 _Tsuna did see the unnecessary flexing of muscles underneath the tight jacket, and he only smirked wider as he noticed her focus._

 _She rolled her eyes._

" _I'm really thankful, Laurent", she smiled innocently up at him, gratified to see the smug grin gracing his features, and tacked on. " Oh, and fuck you, too."_

 _His startled laughter made that whole debacle not quite as humiliating._

 **Tsuna's lips curved up at the memory.**

Her knight in not-so-shining armour. And he had only continued to surprise her, sticking around like a creepy … well, kinda-stalker. But a sweet stalker, one she had learned to even appreciate.

Laurent had really turned out to be so much more than a sweet-talking foot-in-the-mouth charmer who helped her and he annoyingly proved to be even more than the sexy insistent irritant that wouldn't leave her alone.

" _**Is that really how you want to live your life?"**_

" _I don't know what you mean."_

" _Isolating yourself, using your studies as a shield so that no one can get to you. There is more to life than enduring it in loneliness, Tsuna"_

" … _I don't know how … and I don't even know if I want to try anything else."_

" _I have known you for a few weeks now, and I can honestly say that I like the woman I have gotten to know. And it breaks my heart to see you so down. But nothing I say will make you change, I know that, because Tsuna, you have to want to change. It means nothing if I try to force you into an image of my making – that would only make you even more miserable. No. You, and only you, can decide how you want to live your life. Think about it. We are shaped by our past, that's true, and I know that your past has burned you even more than you have let on, but it doesn't have to own your future. You can be so much more than you allow yourself to be."_

" _You make it sound so easy, Laurent."_

" _If I have learnt one thing, than that you will conquer whoever stands in your way. Even if that someone is yourself."_

" … _I'm afraid. It has been a … a long time since I have allowed anyone as near as you have come."_

" _Then take your time, Tsuna. Just take your time. One step, than another. Baby steps. I'm not going away."_

" _Laurent."_

" _You decide."_

" … _you are right. It's my decision."_

" _It is. And I will be by your side, every step of the way."_

 **And he was at her side while she clawed her way back into society.**

It was the best decision of her life.

At that moment, she had no idea just how much more he would become to her than just a friend. How much she would come to care … and love that stubborn ass.

It was certainly … particular.

" _**Go out on a date with me."**_

" … _okay? Why?"_

" _Because I have taken you to eight dates already and you are too damn oblivious to get it. So now, I'm asking you out so that you actually get it for once – I'm head over heels for you, Tsuna."_

" … _oh."_

" … _oh? Oh. Woman, you-!"_

" _I like you too."_

" _Thank god!"_

" _You should have just said that we were on a date. I wouldn't have said no."_

" _You-!"_

 **The few friends she had gained at his insistence had only fondly shaken their heads, exasperated.**

It must have been pretty obvious to everyone but herself that the two of them had actually already been dating. Sometimes, she still did really deserve the moniker Dame-Tsuna. But, well, obliviousness ran in the family. She blamed her parents. Both of them.

In all truthfulness, she had expected her darling boyfriend to tire of her fairly soon, only for him to once again prove her so very wrong.

It got kind of boring.

" _**Love."**_

" _Laurent?"_

" _Marry me."_

" … _okay."_

" … _I should be surprised, I really should be. But I can't be bothered to. Not really. So, is that a yes, you will marry me, or …?"_

" _Asshole. And yes, I want to marry you. Can we go back to kissing now."_

" … _somehow, I don't think marriage will change all that much for us."_

" _See, you can be taught."_

 **Well, and that was that.**

They married in a small ceremony with his family and a few friends, keeping it low because neither of them was all that much for all that fancy nonsense most people delighted in, had a fantastic honeymoon on Mauritius - lots of very delightful and satisfying and sweaty … exercise – and continued their college courses afterwards. Laurent finished his first and started working for his grandfather who owned several Antique galleries, while Tsuna herself finished a year later and opted to work from home as a freelance graphic designer.

And now, after her husband's family branched out, here they were, back in Japan, Tokyo to be exact, and she was loving it more than she would have thought. Strange, that she hadn't even known how much she missed Japan. Tsuna would never have asked Laurent to move to her home country, she loved him too much to tear him from the family he adored, and the family who had welcomed her readily into their fold without question, making her feel so at home and wanted. It was a feeling she had thought lost after her mother's and uncle's murder years ago, but the Lopetti's were a big and dedicated family, and they had accepted a half-orphaned girl with open arms. A part of her hadn't wanted to move back to Japan, and only the fact that Laurent had always liked her culture and loved working with oriental Antiques had actually convinced her to go house hunting in Tokyo. Against her expectations, they were truly happy with their lot.

Besides, they were together, and that was all she cared for.

Some didn't understand how they could work. Tsuna had given up on trying to explain it.

Some people's stubborn world view was just headache-inducing. They were so small-minded, stuck in their old-fashioned rigid expectations. It was pathetic.

Because no matter how much they normally bantered, Tsuna and Laurent truly and deeply loved each other, and they stayed true to themselves while expressing this love.

And honestly, they wouldn't have it any other way.

 **It was the first time in seven years that she was home for the anniversary, and no matter how much the memories still hurt, she would pay her mother the respect the beautiful bright woman deserved.**

Whoever said that time was like a healing balsam on the soul should turn in their credentials – clearly, the fool had no idea how idiotic the notion was. She still felt as if her heart had just been ripped out, the loss and grief a never fading constant that she had merely learnt to live with, not accept and forget like the one she grieved never mattered.

But … for the first time in ten years, she wouldn't be visiting her mother's grave alone.

Her lips curved into a trembling smile as Laurent pressed her hand.

She returned the reassuring gesture.

She wasn't alone.

Not anymore.

 **It had been a long time since she had last visited this graveyard.**

Eight years to nearly the day.

Still too early.

Taking a shuddering breath, she steeled herself and stepped through the gate, her husband's hand securely holding her own, calming the trembling limb.

It felt strange to walk this path again, to see these trees and the grave stones. Strange … and painful. She would never not give her mother the woman's just respect, but it didn't change the fact that Tsuna's heart hurt like hell just treading this terrifyingly familiar path again. To remember that at the end, nothing but a cold white stone waited, a symbol, one of the last mementos to a wonderful woman, a loving and doting wife and the best mother Tsuna could have wished for – maybe not perfect, but still so very true and comforting, so filled with love and faith that her daughter, even after all this time, after growing up, felt tears of thankfulness and loss tickle in the corners of her eyes.

Sometimes she cursed that she loved her Kaa-chan so deeply … but the Alternative of not loving her was even more hurtful.

Sighing, she drew the black cloak tighter around her figure, rubbing her arms to chase away the cold.

It wouldn't leave.

Shaking her head, she smiled helplessly as Laurent held up their intertwined hands and kissed her knuckles, a softness in his eyes that nearly undid her.

There really was no question why she fell in love with him.

Once upon a time she feared it to be thankfulness, but today she knew the truth. For every laugh he tickled out of her, for every tear she shed on his chest, for every nightmare he calmed done and every kiss he gifted her simply because he could, for every colour and facet of life he highlighted through his very presence. If soulmates existed …

… than they were always fated to be.

Two perfect halves of one whole.

Forever joined.

 **The nearer they came to her mother's grave, the colder Tsuna got.** The trembling in her fingers was notable enough that Laurent had taken to shooting her even more concerned looks.

This anniversary was bad at home, in Paris, but here? So near?

It felt like needles were using her heart as a pincushion.

The path led them deeper into the graveyard, and Tsuna recognized the temple in the distance, its red roof obvious hidden in-between the green foliage.

They were there.

Coming to a slow halt, Tsuna felt as if the very air had been knocked from her lungs.

They weren't alone.

Kneeling in front of another familiar grave, just next to her mother's, was a man so painfully familiar that she didn't know what to do, what to think upon laying her eyes on him again for the first time in what seemed too soon. She … had never expected to meet him or his compatriots ever again. She had made it very clear that they were unwelcome in her life after their carelessness, their sickening arrogance had cost her everything. And now …

… here he was.

A boy she could have loved, one she should have been more than friends with, who had thrown away her friendship, thrown her away, and broken her silly little teenager heart out of the forming crush she had then just begun to admit to herself. But in the end, she was of no consequence. Not important.

Not worth enough.

He lifted his head and looked in their direction.

A thin oval face, sharp features accompanied by brown eyes and short wild black hair. A thin scar on his chin marked the once welcome face as the man turned completely, honest surprise colouring his expression.

And longing.

Tsuna stepped back, nearer to Laurent.

Her husband wrapped an arm protectively around her shoulders and another around her waist, telling her that he was there, for her – and it helped. It grounded her, kept the memories at bay. Fixed her in the here and now.

She tasted salt and blood on her lips. Like ghosts.

Salt and blood.

Always salt and blood.

A never-ending curse.

Only Laurent's touch kept the memories of their hands away, made her feel safe confronted with one of the man she once would have willingly died for, only to be abandoned in favour of their egos. She had closed that door, sunk the disgusting key to the memories of their betrayal, but it didn't stop her lips from twisting into a grimace. Sometimes, forgiveness can't be granted. She could have forgiven him for abandoning her in favour of Federico; damn, she knew that her former guardians were more firmly entrenched in Vongola's matters than herself, that they had been granted the futures they wanted by being inducted. Being just a bit selfish, she could understand. But letting their egos reign and destroying lives as if they were of no consequence?

No.

That she couldn't forgive, and didn't want to. She had been clear: Let them stay in Sicily with their Decimo. She had no use for traitors.

Obviously, some lessons just don't stick.

Slowly, her former friend stood up, leaving flowers on the grave before him, and stepped forth, crossing the distance between them with his long slender legs.

She nearly cried at the unfairly familiar sight of his tall slender suit-clad form, still dressed all in black with a blue dress shirt underneath and a thin black tie. He looked good.

A small part of her resented him for this. For looking so … normal … recognizable … composed.

… it had been a long time. Ten years.

She could have gone longer.

Until death sounded nice.

" Tsunami-chan?", he asked softly, his voice deeper than she remembered.

She declined her head slightly.

" Yamamoto-san", she responded reservedly, words seeming to desert her for the moment.

Tsuna felt Laurent tense as Takeshi's eyes wandered about her. Laurent was not an insecure man, he knew that Tsuna would never cheat on him, that betrayal didn't exist in her world, not when she had been emotionally scarred by it so deeply that for a long time trust had been something to be feared for her. No, Laurent wasn't insecure or easily jealous – but he was protective, over-protective even. And he knew, from her strained confessions over a past that had him pale in fury on her behalf, just who was before them.

But as overprotective as he was, she also knew that he would only ever step in if she proved to become overwhelmed, if she was threatened.

He respected her.

He believed in her.

He trusted her.

Tsuna shook her head to focus again, and noticed that Takeshi was still looking at her, taking her in. She let him. Years ago, little Sawada Tsunami may have been shy and self-conscious, but Tsunami Lopetti was secure in her body, and she knew what she had. Petite, slender with decent curves in the right places, she was very aware of her feminine charm. Dressed in a loose black chiffon dress that swept around her knees with black stockings and high-heeled ankle boots, she looked nothing like her middle school or even high school self. Shoulder-length elegant chocolate-coloured curls framed a delicate face with the big hazel-coloured eyes and full pink lips.

No. She did not resemble Dame-Tsuna.

And she resembled the former Vongola Decima candidate even less.

It was clearly written on Takeshi's face that he had come to the same conclusion, drinking in the few similarities and the only to apparent differences of the last memory he had of her.

He looked at her like she was an apparition.

It was … more than longing she saw.

Desire.

Wanting.

… and she couldn't have cared less.

" So … you are here to visit your mother?"

Way to state the obvious.

Tsuna took a deep breath to keep herself from snapping at the fool and forced a smile on her face, saccharine sweetness dripping from her tightly drawn lips.

" Yes. If you would excuse me now, that's exactly what I'm going to do", she replied coolly.

They started to move, stepping around the other man, just as his hand shot out, gripping her arm so hard it would surely bruise.

" Tsunami!", Takeshi's voice had taken on a desperate tone as he finally managed to meet her eyes head-on. " … I'm sorry."

… the audacity.

Sorry … didn't mean anything. Not when it was his fucking arrogance that had led them to even meet today, because if he and his friends had kept their ego in check, those two graves before them would never have worn the inscription they had been engraved with.

" … does sorry give you back your father?", she whispered icily, watching in satisfaction as he flinched back, paling. " Because it doesn't return my mother."

The man before her lowered his head.

Tsuna wasn't finished. He had wanted to play this game, had started it – and she would finish it.

She would drive the truth home, once and for all.

" Your sorry means shit, Yamamoto, so safe it for someone who still cares."

He slowly loosened his grip on her arm.

" Will you ever forgive me?"

Tsuna closed her eyes for a moment.

Couldn't he just get the godforsaken hint?

She could feel Laurent stiffen even more behind her. If Takeshi didn't leave well enough soon enough, she would not be held responsible for her actions … or her husbands.

Especially her husbands.

And it really took a lot to make her man lash out.

" … I don't hate you", she finally said softly." I just … you don't matter enough to me to be even angry with me, it would give you too much power, too much meaning in my life. And you aren't worth that. But I also … can't forgive you. Because I can't accept your reasoning, and I won't forgive your failure. Not this time. Keep out of my life, and we will never see each other again."

She didn't look at him. She knew what she would see, and she had no wish to subjugate herself to that, not when she was in the right.

" … as you wish, Decima."

She flinches as ice flooded her veins.

Decima.

That cursed title.

The bane of her existence.

The reason for nearly every loss in her life.

She felt him move before he did it, and still, the shock of hearing Takeshi's traitorous mouth utter that word left her frozen as Laurent lunged forward, fist hitting Takeshi squarely in the mouth.

Her former Rain Guardian fell down, blood dripping down his lip.

Laurent snarled at him and turned around, tightening his recovered grip on Tsuna and leading her away.

She turned halfway around, meeting Takeshi's eyes and conveying exactly how much he was worth in her eyes.

Nothing.

There was nothing between them anymore but a chasm of blood and death.

" Next time you fuck up, Yamamoto-san, try to get only yourself killed."

" **Kaa-chan ..."**

Tsuna sank down in front of the grave of her mother, her husband right next to her.

" I'm sorry that I was away for so long … but after I lost you … I didn't know who I was, who I wanted to be … and that was something I needed to discover … it's taken me a bit longer, but I think I have found my answers now. My answers and my very own happiness."

She smiled gently at him and closed her eyes as he softly kissed her, nothing more than a chaste caress that let warmth blossom like a rose in her chest, feeling her with a happiness she could never get enough of.

" This is Laurent. He is my husband … and your son-in-law. I know that you would have loved him, and I know that, wherever you are now, you will always watch over us. I hope you are happy for me Kaa-chan, because for the first time ever, I'm truly happy and satisfied with my life. I have found this special someone, the one you always told me about, who would make my life explode in colours and make everything so much brighter and louder. Someone who would make me enjoy my time on this earth."

Tsuna looked up at the sky.

A gentle settled smile on her lips.

" And I love him. I truly love him."

 _~ The End ~_


End file.
